Oh boy, do I remember my gut-wrenching teens and early twenties. Many of those years were filled with the frustrations of a young teenage boy trying to figure life out and often failing to do so. My main struggles were not having many friends and romantic relationships, working long hours as a waiter in high school, and a corporate finance job after college where I would sit in senseless meetings, and generate boring Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations.
I was trying to improve my circumstances through reading personal development books and trying to execute the content, but progress often felt slow. Days often felt like years as I dreaded my life, searching for meaning and a better life.
The only consistent practice that has given me peace as I slowly formed my life into a much more enjoyable affair is doing an annual reflection exercise, learning from the past year's mistakes, and creating a plan to do better next year. For over a decade now, I have been doing this yearly practice that I have emulated from my friend Juvoni, Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins, and Ali Abdaal, and I have continuously refined it to make it simple and actionable.
Below, I have outlined the 3 steps that take me about 2 hours to help me reflect on all that has happened this year and create a plan I am genuinely excited about next year. (You will also find the complete template at the bottom)
What are the benefits?
Reflecting on this year helped me remember that I forgot my fantastic vacation with my dad when he visited me in Mexico City and San Miguel de Allende for 5 days. You see, in previous years, I often felt guilty for not enjoying my time with my family during the holidays as much as I should because we would often sit around the house, eat food, and drink alcohol. Our conversations would quickly devolve into less meaningful topics as we got tired and soon went to bed. When Dad visited me this year, our time spent together could not be more different. Our combined curiosity was at its peak as we rode on the hot air balloons, wandered the streets of San Miguel, exploring the local art, food, and culture and being in awe at how many of the color palettes and traditions resemble that of Ukraine, where we were born!
Note to self for next year: book more exploratory vacations with family while there is still opportunity because life is short.
Here are the 3 steps!
1. Annual Review (30 minutes est.)
I am amazed at how many things I forgot to reflect on, for instance, that this year, some of my old meaningful friendships have withered away because I moved to Mexico City and that I should be at peace with that and make room for new ones. I use my favorite note-taking tool, Apple Notes (Notion, Google Docs, and other alternatives will suffice), and go through my calendar and photos week by week and write down the impactful positive and negative things that have happened that month.
2. Reflection (1 Hour est.)
Reflection is a fun and thought-provoking exercise as I think about all the good and bad experiences around my romantic relationship, family, friendships, emotional health, finances, etc! Once I have some bullets for each month from step 1, I go through them and think about the overarching stories and reflections from the year and who are the people & experiences I benefited greatly from and which have negatively impacted my psyche. This helps paint more cohesive themes that keep popping up.
3. Execution Plan for Next Year (1 Hour est.)
This is the last step where I get excited about the opportunities that are in store for next year. I write down one main goal I can achieve in the year that, if completed, will make the year an epic success, as well as the steps I plan on taking to achieve it. Next, I write down all the secondary goals I want to add to the year, generally around my finances, fitness, relationships, etc.
I also write down the friends that have had a very positive impact on me in past years and that I want to spend more time with next year. Like my friend Daniel, with whom I organized a fantastic few days in Mazunte exploring local nature and beaches in April, or my friend Nik, a nearby neighbor with whom I often have deep conversations in Mexico City parks. Conversely, for people I feel friction with or who I find draining to hang with for one reason or another, I will try to spend less time with them next year.
And that is it! Personal development books and cliche quotes, such as "focus on one thing" or "you're the average of 5 people you hang out with," can be a great guide. Still, unlike a fair amount of advice telling me that I can change my life by tomorrow, I have often found that it took me many years to execute and internalize the concepts, especially if concerning mental and emotional shifts rooted from childhood events and trauma. Hope you have a fantastic beginning to the new year! Here is a Google Docs template I use that you can copy!
Cheers from Puerto Escondido, Mexico!
Andriy
PS Thanks to
for helping edit this piece!
Love this question: "What is one goal this year that if accomplished will make next year life changing"
This turned out great!